It just seems to be a bad combination: working mornings (getting up at 3:30am) and having a toddler.
Feeding Sweet Pea is usually a challenge because you have to be able to move fast to catch the food that's inevitably thrown. I'm used to that. But last night, at the time of day when I'm running on just fumes, she kept switching chairs (hers has a towel covering it, so every time she switches, the towel has to come too), she wanted to go straight to dessert and skip her rice and green beans (of course), and screamed when she couldn't have whatever she was having in the PINK bowl (what??). I had to ask God for patience as she threw eveything off her tray and started thrashing around in her seat.
I know I'm tired and that I lose my patience faster because of it, but KNOWING that doesn't help. I know she's a 2-year-old and that she will act like one, but that does nothing to slow down my short fuse being lit either.
What's the solution? More sleep? More discipline? Oddly enough, I think it's just spending more time with Sweet Pea when we're both not tired. I'm so "ready-set-go" all day and "I-have-to-get-things-done" that I (sadly) don't have time when she says "Let's read a book" because I have to start thinking about dinner at 4pm so I can eat before 6pm so I can go to bed by 8pm.
I feel so drained by the end of each day. I'm still looking for the mysterious 'balance' that some working moms (or stay-at-home moms, for that matter) have found.
4 comments:
How it's done I'll never know... Making my own dinner is exhausting enough. I understand your short fuse though. My fuse has been cut even shorter since starting the morning shift. I find myself snapping at Kris for no good reason. I can't control it sometimes and I'm horrified at who I've become after months of the torturous morning shift. Stay strong, you are forgiven.
I can't imagine working full time and managing a 2-year old. I wish you strength and perserverance! I don't know how people get a "balance", and I don't know if they ever truly achieve one.
Thanks, guys. Sometimes I just feel terrible complaining about it because I know I'm not the only first-time mom in the world....but why does everyone else seem to have all their sh** together??
I think it's just an image they portray to the outside :) You are a great mother! You are trying your hardest.
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