A client came into the studio this morning (where I am the only female) and she was a very cute, 20-something with a Valley girl voice that reminded me of the actress Juliette Lewis.
I thought it was curious that this pretty girl made no eye contact with me and didn't greet me, even though I tried to make eye contact and smile at her. And then continued to not talk to me the entire time. I gave up after awhile.
Why do women sometimes do that? It's like an automatic, subconscious cattiness that comes out when two females who don't know each other meet. And either they decide that it's okay to be real, or 'cool' to each other, or they act fake or they simply ignore each other. I was not partaking in this silent phenomenon. At least, I didn't think I was. I was not competing with this girl, who looked way more hip and done up than I did. I just thought it was curious. And entertaining. And I thought I left it behind in high school.
Of course, the three men in the room had no idea what I was talking about.
I'm already filling in for a co-worker on maternity leave and another one who is on vacation, in addition to doing my own shift. Late yesterday my boss asked me to come in early (during a split shift? cruel and unusual punishment!) to fill-in for yet another co-worker who called in sick.
Of course, I couldn't sleep, knowing that I had to get up even earlier than usual, or should be humanly possible. Annoyed when my alarm went off at 2:45am, I hated everything and everyone. In my car, I think I actually felt hatred as I was forced to stop at a red light---anything that would stop this day from coming to an end quicker was making me angry. I glared at the road and silently willed other cars to get out of my way.
The only way I could (attempt to) wake myself up was to blast my stereo until my ears rang, but even then Linkin Park and Marilyn Mason didn't seem angry enough. And the coffee I was pouring down my throat as fast as I could was not enough. I think the only thing that will BE enough is when this hell is over.
Please let the next three and a-half weeks go faster.
My eyes were so dry on my way home that when I rubbed my eye, my right contact lense fell out. I was still five minutes away from my house so I put the lense in my mouth to keep it moist and tried not to swallow it.
In between shifts I have exactly enough time to do one task (grocery store, laundry, or other), fix something to eat, take a nap and still leave myself enough time to get back to work for the afternoon shift.
When I woke up again, I saw Sweet Pea for a total of five minutes before I had to leave again. She broke my heart when she said in her little toddler voice, "I want YOU mommy," and she locked her little arms around my neck, "Don't go to work."
My eyes were not dry when I drove away, still watching her wave bye-bye with her arm sticking out from the railing of the deck.